Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
