is your mom at the bar?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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