So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
pray to the hookup gods
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
