Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
