Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
