I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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