Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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