you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
