i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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