it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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