I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
