Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
