Will you blow on my dice?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
