she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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