It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
