The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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