he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
