Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
