ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
