i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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