So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize