Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Oh god it's open bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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