FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
