Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
