Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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