I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
do nipples grow back?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
