I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
