Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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