He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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