At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
