marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
