You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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