U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
