so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
