Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
