She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
