No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
