so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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