Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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