In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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