Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
