dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
