I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
