You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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