We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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