these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize