thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
