eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
