the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
