hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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