someone threw a dead crab at me
he puts the penis in happiness.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
