So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
