Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
