My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
