What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
