It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
