do herpes really smell.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
