we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
