wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
