Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
