found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize